When Are You Getting Married

No Engagement Ring Hands Photo

Last week, I was asked if/when I’m getting married to my boyfriend 4 separate times by 4 different people! You see, I’ve been with my boyfriend for 2.5 years now. I come home from college every weekend to see him and we hang out almost every Friday and Saturday night. Granted, I love him and he loves me. We do discuss getting married and having kids one day. However, since I was asked 4 times last week, it got me to thinking…

Is there a set amount of time before people just expect you to get engaged? I mean we weren’t asked this question until we got close to the 2 year mark. However, ever since then we’ve been asked this question at least once a month. Now, I’m not saying that I don’t think we will get married or that I won’t be excited about it (Trust me, I will be. You can bet there will be a whole event about it here. Haha!). I’m just wondering what society’s set expected amount of time for dating is now.

I also wanna know… If you are married, how long were you with your significant other before you got engaged? Plus, has anyone else experienced this sudden surge of questions about marriage/engagement around the 2-2.5 year mark of a relationship?

Disclosure (just because I don’t want you to wonder and because I don’t usually post something like this): No compensation or product was received for this post. I was just thinking about this stuff lately and since Valentine’s Day was this week, I figured it’d be a good time as any to ask y’all about it. Obviously, the opinions expressed are my own.

Comments

  1. My husband and I dated for 4 1/2 yrs before we got married. We got engaged 4 yrs almost to the date from the time we first dated. We were also in our 30′s so you have time.
    To be honest it is only your opinion that counts when it comes to the decision regarding marriage. Sometimes these questions people pose feel almost like they are pressuring. You have to move at your own rate.
    I have a brother who was dating his now wife for 7 yrs before they got engaged and then married. They have now been married for over 18 yrs.
    Whatever comes your way I wish you the best.

  2. My hubby and I have been married for all most 6 years. Our relationship wasn’t a “normal” one. We met online. We dated about a year, had Little B during that time and then got engaged after a year and were married 4 months after getting engaged. My mom on the other hand was engaged to my step dad for 7 years before they finally married. To each couple their own ;)

  3. Ashley Elaine says:

    I have been with my boyfriend for almost 4 years, he is 26 I am 24. We get asked all the time and pretty much all our friends are married/engaged, have children or are working on it. We live together and talk about marriage but I am too focused on school and my career and he is the same way. My boyfriend has made comments like when she graduates I will ask so my mom claims I am still in school because I don’t want to get married (I am in my 6th year) We are having fun so I just laugh it off when people ask and just say before we retire.

  4. Part of it depends on where you live and how old you are – some areas of the country have a much lower average marrying age than others. You’re 21 according to your about me, right? That would be very very young in a place like New York City, but less uncommon in a midwestern or southern town. (Average age for marriage in the US is 25.6 for women)

    My sweetheart and I dated for almost eight years before we tied the knot. We started getting the marriage questions around age 20/21, when we were getting closer to graduating from college – I think the fact that we were a long-term couple nearing graduation was a big part of the “so now what?” questions. Many people do tie the knot right out of college. Obviously, we decided to wait a few years :) We were in a similar boat – happy to be together and we figured eventually we’d tie the knot. Things came together just right last year, we finally “got legal”, and I’m glad we waited.

  5. We got engaged a couple weeks after our one year dating anniversary and then got married four months later. We were both already in our 30s and had finished school and were established in our careers. Now we have been married 4.5 years and are constantly nagged about having children. I don’t think it’s anyone’s business, and I don’t ever ask others when they are getting married or having children.

  6. We were together 3 years before he proposed (but some of those were in h.s.) and another 6 months before the wedding.

  7. I think that seems to be a question when a couple has been together for a while. I am sure it must come up in the couples mind sometimes to. My Husband and i met in 1993 moved in with eachother in 1995 also engaged.
    Got married in 1996.
    Had our first son in 1997 and than second son in 2005.
    But also if you get married than the question that might come up next of being married for a while is when are you having kids.
    I guess it seems like it is ongoing with questions. I don’t think we got asked these questions but i know that they are questions that get asked. But as a couple i think sometimes it needs to be talked about because you both might have different views on what you want.
    Anyways whatever happens good luck and happiness. :)

  8. Gee, I guess if you are still in school it seems people usually wait till they finish-but not all. We didn’t, but seems people do more these days.
    We just celebrated 35 years of marriage. We KNEW pretty soon and got engaged 6 months later-married 9 months after we met. We would have gotten married sooner but with school it was a problem since our families were far away.

  9. My husband and I were together for five years before we got engaged. People did ask around 2-3 years when we were getting married, but we were in no rush. We just went to the courthouse too. We plan on renewing our vows and having a wedding/reception on our five year anniversary, this year will be three.

    I think most people just expect that around two years of being together, marriage is the next step. But I think it’s whatever is right for your own relationship.

  10. I think age has a big factor to it. I’m not ready to get married because I’m 19, even though I’m very happy with my relationship and we’ve been together for 3.5 years. I want to be out of college and living in a house before we worry about marriage. I wouldn’t mind getting engaged, but we’d be engaged for at least 2.5 years if he proposed now, and it’s kinda silly to be engaged for that long in my opinion.

    but it’s silly how people just assume that ‘its time’ to get engaged because it’s been 2 years or 3 years or whatever. engagement and marriage should obviously be about love and commitment, not a time constraint.

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