I can’t believe that I am having my second Christmas without daddy today. While things aren’t exactly like they were the first year without dad, it’s still hard to believe it’s happening again.
Christmas without Daddy
My father passed away in early December last year. So, technically last year was my first Christmas without daddy. However, I was so overwhelmed with grief that I was mostly numb when we “celebrated” the holiday. In fact, I don’t remember much that happened last year. I don’t know if that’s good or bad, but I really can’t remember what we did last year. I just remember being so depressed last year and not wanting to be with people.
I can’t believe the time has come to have my second Christmas without daddy. This time, it seems more real. I think that’s because we have traditions for the season that begin with Thanksgiving and dad was around for Thanksgiving last year. So, we were already in the middle of the season by the time he died last year. This is the first time he hasn’t been around for any of it and it’s been weird.
I’ve really missed him lately. I could barely handle my birthday when I realized that he would never again wish me a happy birthday. This year, I wanted to give mom a good Christmas. However, I had no idea what that should entail. I got her a few things she requested and then surprised her with a few more odds and ends. I’m hoping that my gifts and us spending the day with family will make it easier on her.
My dad’s mom used to go all out for this holiday with 2 full meals and hours spent opening presents. I am proud to say that I have lots of great memories of the holidays as a child and I have my dad and my grandma to thank for that. Dad always made sure I had a good Christmas and knew just the perfect gift(s). I think I miss his advice and sense of humor the most.
While it would be selfish to want him back, since I know he suffered something fierce, I still don’t like the thought of Christmas without daddy. However, I guess I have to learn to deal with it.
If you celebrate today, then Merry Christmas. If not, then I hope you have a good day. 🙂