Anyone who has been a long-time reader of the site or follows me on social media knows that my dad passed away in 2012. So, when I got married in 2016, I had to plan the wedding without him. I’ve been wanting to write this post ever since, but I’ve never gotten the nerve up to do it. I guess there’s some guilt for having a celebration without him there. However, there are lots of ways to remember loved ones at a wedding, which helped me on my big day.

How to Remember Loved Ones at a Wedding

Weddings are supposed to be happy days. However, when a loved one is no longer around to celebrate, it can make for a bittersweet event. I found it helpful to remember my dad while forgoing some of the more traditional aspects of the big day. Here are some ways that I discovered to memorialize loved ones at a wedding.

• Attach a picture to the bouquet. I bought a small photo frame on Amazon and put a picture of my dad on his wedding day in it. Then, I attached the photo frame to my flower bouquet. That way, it was almost like he was walking me down the aisle. I have also seen other brides simply display a photo of a loved one at the wedding.
• Play a special song. I was initially supposed to dance the traditional father-daughter dance with my dad’s dad. However, my grandfather passed away two weeks before our wedding. So, I danced to a special song with my cousin instead. It was a song that both my dad and grandfather would have appreciated.
• Serve a favorite food. I didn’t intentionally pick it with my dad in mind, however we served a peanut butter pork at our wedding. My dad loved peanut butter, as do I. So, I think he would have enjoyed that meal.
• Acknowledge them in the ceremony. It doesn’t have to be something long and complicated. It can be a simple moment of silence to remember those who couldn’t be there. However, not acknowledging their absence can be awkward.

Do What Feels Right

No one can tell you the 100% right way to remember loved ones at a wedding. Do what feels right to you and your family. However, I hope these ideas are good enough to get you going in the right direction.

It’s hard to believe, but this week marks a decade after my dad’s death. I remember first posting about his passing in My Dad Passed Away and how hard it was to write that post. In many ways, that feels like a lifetime ago. In others, it’s hard to fathom that I haven’t spoken to him in a decade.

A Decade After My Dad’s Death

Ten years ago, I was still living at home with my parents. I also was a substitute teacher while looking for a full-time position. I was dating my current husband and just trying to figure life out. Then, my dad passed away and time stood still briefly. I realized how short life can be. My dad’s death really propelled me to begin traveling as I realized he never had the chance to experience much beyond the immediate area we grew up in.

In the decade after my dad’s death, it is simultaneously harder and easier. I can go a good while without being upset. Then, I will eat something or hear a song I think he would like. For example, it makes me so sad that we never got to enjoy lemon/lime desserts together as my tastebuds weren’t ready for them back then. However, I take joy in knowing that my dad would be happy that I’m eating them for him.

I also really miss him whenever I’m trying to deal with something. He almost always knew what to say to comfort me. Unfortunately, my mom doesn’t have that skill. Ha. Growing up, she often just sent me to my dad when I was upset. So, he was the person I went to whenever I needed something. Now, I rely on my husband for support and he does a great job. However, no one can replace your dad.

This post isn’t really filled with any tips or advice. I just felt that I had to recognize the importance of it being a decade after my dad’s death. Have you lost a parent? How do you deal with the loss?