Merry Christmas! I sincerely hope you are spending time with family today (instead of reading my site). I hope all of my readers have a fabulous holiday season that is filled with love, laughter, good food, and perhaps a great gift or two. There won’t be any reviews or giveaways posted today as I’m taking today off. I hope you aren’t too disappointed. However, now that dad has passed away, I am all too aware of how important it is to spend time with family. You just never know when it will be the last time you see someone. So, be nice and joyful today.
It Does Not Feel Like Christmas
I am sure that today will be hard for me and my family. I am baking homemade peanut butter chocolate chip cookies on Christmas Eve, because I used to bake peanut butter cookies with my mom back in the day. It’s been really hard these past few weeks. I miss dad. I think about him multiple times a day. I do better during the day because I can stay busy. However, it really hits me at night when the house is quiet and I feel like he should be walking down the hallway to go to the bathroom and check on me.
With dad (and my grandmother who passed away 9 years ago) being gone, it really doesn’t feel Christmas this year. It feels like something is missing to complete the Christmas festivities. I miss talking to dad. I am also sad because I went to visit dad in the hospital on Thanksgiving and I asked him what he wanted for Christmas. His response was “I want to come home for Christmas.” Obviously, that didn’t happen. So, it breaks my heart. I know he is better off now because he is no longer suffering. However, I want him here for selfish reasons.
Instead of snow, it’s raining here in Virginia for Christmas. That doesn’t help any with the spirit. Then, we put up our Christmas tree last week. It’s a pre-lit tree. As soon as mom plugged it in, a whole string of lights was out (right in the middle of the tree). Then, a couple of days later, another strand went out. Also, our tree topper that we’ve had for years wouldn’t work either.
Like I said, it doesn’t feel like Christmas this year… at all. I don’t know how hard today will be. Nonetheless, it is Christmas and I want to spend it with my family and loved ones. I haven’t been able to deal with being around many people lately. So, I’m hoping today goes well.
Merry Christmas!
JJ Caraway says
Merry Christmas and I am sorry to hear of your loss and your lights on your tree. I lost my father to cancer ten years ago this year and it seems like a hundred years ago. I lost my sister to cancer two years ago and she went quick, less than three months after she was diagnosed. I also lost my mother two years agoless than thirty days of my sister to Myleodysplastic Sydrome less than ninety days after being diagnosed. It was very hard I will not lie but after talking to my doctor and my parish priest I came to realize that they were all better off and death is a part of lfe. Try to remember the good memories and be thankful for the time you had with them. It will get easier over the years. Know you are in my prayers.
Calshondra Williams says
I am sorry to hear about your loss and my prayers go out to you and your family. Just remember that GOD has a plan for all of us although we may not be able to see it at the present time. It may not seem like it now but you have amazing strength to overcome sorrow. I too lost my aunt years ago due to cancer and that was the worst day of my life. I still get sad when I remember her telling me that this time she won’t make it back home. I told her that she would be back like times before. But, god wanted to call another angel to heaven and she did not make it back.
Cindy @MomMaven says
I know how hard Christmas can be. My daughter was born on 12/24/84 and passes away on 12/26/84, Christmas is always difficult, even all these years later. Don’t be too difficult on yourself. Your entire family is grieving so I’m sure Christmas was different this year, more bittersweet. I’m praying for you Lindsay!
ConnieFoggles says
By sharing your story, you helped me to remember how important family is. I’ll continue to keep you in my prayers.
Kelli says
Goodness! Thanks for sharing all of this. I”m obviously reading and responding after Christmas and sorry for your struggles. It is so good to lean on our family. They are there for us. Hugs to you!
pammypam says
i’m so sorry for your loss; i understand your pain. i lost my father at christmas 7 yrs ago and my grandmother last christmas. its a tough time…